Assalamualaikum and greetings :)
So, as I keep checking my facebook and twitter, I noticed that now more people are alert about what Allah said in alQuran "good guys for good women" or you can check the exact sentence in surah an'Nur, but I can't remember which verse.
It's a good thing, of course and most people start to look for 'possible' future-husband or characteristics that they think are necessary in men.
And yes, if we want to look for soleh husband/solehah wife, we need to change our attributes to match that of our intended future spouse. People start to realize this too, and I also noticed some of them trying so hard to change for the best.
What worries me is that, not many people are concerned about lowering their gaze. Maybe some of them think it's hard to communicate if we don't make eye contact, but there's rukhsah in that. Lowering our gaze is compulsory so there won't be any fitnah physically or spiritually (haram feelings/thoughts).
I don't know about anyone else, but it irks me so much when men don't respect me as to lower their gaze or try not to bump into me. God, sometimes I feel like killing those men, not just teenager boys, but also middle aged men! I'm not saying that male likes my looks, but sometimes they just look at you.
Okay, back to the topic. This post is more to girls' side.
So, when I said to lower our gaze, doesn't mean it only applies to 'living guys'. With the k-pop revolution, and the western pop stars, and local actors, I'm 100% positive that most girls do ogle and fangirl as part of their hobbies. I mean like, with by just looking at pictures, or watch their random acts, we(girls) would giggle and roam their bodies *I know disgusting* with our eyes without feeling slightly guilty and all, doesn't that mean we just violated the rule of lowering our gaze?
How can ogling and fangirling can be inappropriate and sinful?
Well, when you look at someone that catches your interest, you will start thinking of scenes of pictures or whatsoever that could be nearly as inappropriate as possible without you noticing. Oh come on! Most girls do this to their 'idols'. Okay maybe some not.
Remember about soleh guys only for solehah girls? It could be that every little thing we do is what our future husband will do.
So if you like to look at handsome guys, watching their acts, learn their attitude and personality, can you even imagine your future spouse being like that, looking at some random girls with full interest? OF COURSE NOT!
Because, what quality we actually want in our future lifetime partner is the exact quality we need to find in ourselves. It's not that hard to understand now, isn't it?
I don't mean to insult girls whom like to fangirl over celebrities, this is more to advising those around me and to myself.
Till then, insyaAllah Assalamualaikum :)
Writer : Nur Kamilia Binti Mahayudin
Student of SMART, Islamic Pure Science Stream